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Empathy of Time

 
    I've been at my job for 18 years now, (working on 19), and oddly I am 'beginning' to get the hang of the reason for it all.  Longevity brings insight.  I am not so slow at learning, that I did not "get it" before; it's just that with over time there is a deep appreciation of a larger picture.  There are a few employees who have certainly been there longer than I have and more than a few who are much sharper than I; two ladies I know right off hand who have been there for 45 years.  A lifetime is still too short in the grand scheme of things.

   I work for The State of Texas, caring for individuals with intellectual and physical disabilities, and yet I have learned a great deal from them.  The residence of the State Supported Living Centers - live there, and I am the one privileged to work for them.  I have been on two different campuses, seen 4 Superintendents, 6 Unit Directors, more than a few Building Coordinators and have lost count of the Direct Care Professionals who have come and gone.  I was in one position for 16 years, another for a year and this one for a year now; but the residence "live" there.  Living there and working there are worlds apart in understanding and view of life.  Equated with being a passenger or a driver.  Drivers are in a different head space altogether "than the ones they serve".

   I am very blessed to work with these "Individuals" and (dare I said it aloud) grateful I am not living there being cared for on a 24/7 basis.  We "normal people" have such a skewed view of 'existence'.  All of our problems, issues and concerns are nothing by comparison.  We should not live or dwell upon comparison, but there should be a cognitive awareness of appreciation.  That awareness ought to enable us to view our troubles and materialism with an honest approach, and less selfishness.  Having said that, it is profoundly difficult of what we should be appreciating all the time.

   LIFE can turn on a dime.  As as artist and armature writer what if I lost my eyesight? A runner their legs or a musician their hearing?  No matter how in tune we think we are nor how much empathy we strive to show and share we we forever fail.  Life is about growth and learning. I am still learning.


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MENTAL STATES: A Poet's Journey




I am extremely proud to share my friend, Marjorie Jo Chesebro’s book: MENTAL STATES: A Poet’s Journey.  She allowed me to craft her New WEB SITE, which I am proud to showcase.








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NADAN AND THE GREAT HALL

 Seven years after the Great Departure of Elvendom from the world of men, a new area dawned in Eriduah.  An envoy of dwarves from Mount Jebul came from the east to the port city of Mithar.  It was none other than Kwandol himself, king under those mountains.
   Speaking with that host was Vendumar Swancloak, our own lord and king; who stood chief among those founding fathers.  Before him, Kwandol Ironhammer offered his hand in peace, desiring to cast a renewed alliance between the two peoples.  For, said did he, “If a remnant of elven sons could conjure forth the courage to broker peace, the sons of dwarves would bend their knee to that cause as well.  The Great Wars of gloom are but things in both our ancient past, and a new area must be forged.  For the time is now ripe for such deeds.”
   In honor of that august day, and their acceptance; those dwarves eagerly agreed to craft a Great Hall to mark such an occasion.  They quarried stone blocks from the hills of the Blue mountain range.  Their masonic skills fashioned a single, chambered dome-house into the likeness of two greeting hands.  With their fingers interlaced, cupped and laying on their side; one dwarven and the other elven, it stood high and fair.  Supporting the two touching thumbs were spiral pillars.  Etched in both tongues, about the raised rib were the words, “TWO DIVERSE PEOPLE FORGED BY HARDSHIP TO BECOME BROTHERS OF HOPE.”
  Entrance was gained through a single round, divided door which saw a brief hallway lead down into a sunken floor-well.  In the middle of that polished floor was the gold-inlaid, seven-pointed star of Mithar.  From its center, looking back over three rows of raised, benched-seats were mithrel silver-inlaid vines upon the curved wall.  Sprouting like leaves, from the vines, were Ax and Hammer seals of the Dwarven Kingdom.  Mid-air, suspended above each of the points of the star were bowls of fire, that hung by silver twine.  Two incense altars met the hallway’s entrance, and the domed roof was vented with air holes in-between the interweaving of the carved vine design.
   All who entered that noble chamber stood in awe of the workmanship.  Three years in the making.  The dwarves had poured their pride, and hope-filled desire for a lasting peace into all their labors, with Kwandol inspecting every aspect of its detail.  It was indeed a thing of beauty, a gift worthy of praise and remembrance.  Upon completion, the Mitharians celebrated for three days with their new friends, one for each year the dwarves toiled in crafting the Great Hall.   
   Representatives of both people met in that ornately gifted house, coming together under one roof as a single people.  Deliberating matters of state and mutual trade.  For the people of Mithar: the Elven Watchers, the Nasilian Bedouins and their Nephilim offspring; all offered up their lives to the cause of peace.  They freely traded, learned and taught their knowledge of the heavens, the seasons, fishing, and archery skills.  Likewise did the dwarven sons of the Blue Mountains offer up hunting rights in their southern forest called Kinderval.
     King Kwandol stationed his brother, Lagros as Ambassador to reside near the domed meeting hall.  Lagros would be the eyes, ears and voice of the King; ever sending word of news or call for aid.  So it was, of how that Great Alliance was forged and maintained in the abundance of friendship.  Both people gained much from the other, and questioned why true peace had taken so long in coming.


   However, such joyous days are not long endure it would seem.  For, misunderstandings frequently arose between the two cultures.  Arguments subsided.  But their differences always simmered beneath the surface, as one was tall the other stout; one fair, the other ruddy with beards.   As the years passed away so too did the original founders of the city.  King Korale was the first son to rule who was not of that elder generation, and the era of his father’s ways was fastly diminishing.  For the earlier teachers had become priests, devising new manners by which to control the people they first served.  In time, ninety-seven years later to the very day the Great Hall had opened, that peace was snuffed out.
   Six days after the last Watcher, Baal’yick Ravenblack died; his body was cremated, and his ashes added to the Holy Urn of the founding families of Mithar.  I, Gilmore, great grandson of the Watcher Beirdan and the Lady Holmath, was alive and bore witness to those events as they unfolded in our midst.  For the next twenty-four years the differences we had with our dwarven neighbors was no longer a silent matter, and the truth boiled over.
   It was two hundred and sixty-four years after the Great Departure, amidst that growing discord, when a prophet arose teaching the end of days.  The great urn of our Holy Dead was placed in the Great Hall, and set in the center of the seven pointed star.  Their half-bred sons, those Nephilim lords, did fashion images of their long-dead fathers.  For, upon panels of bronze they did beat and shape the shrouded figures of those twenty-one elders, who had once watched over the city.  Beloved as the sons of God, their children so desired to memorialize them for all time.  The Shrouded Ones, as they were later called, lined in standing order were made to cover the inner walls of the Great Hall.  An enchantment was spelled upon them, when by fire light they did seem to move on their own accord.  The overlaid panels of the Shrouded Ones hid well the dwarven seal, and its mithrel-vine from view. 

   Two days after the installation of the bronze figures, Ambassador Lagros returned from a trip to Jebul.  Upon seeing the Shrouded Ones in person for himself, and no fore mention of their presence, the dwarf cried out in utter horror and disbelief.  Lagros ran out of the darkened chamber tearing his outer garment off, pulling out his beard, weeping and falling to his knees.  When his aid rushed to help him and to know why Lagros was so distraught, the Ambassador cried out all the more.  Throwing dirt in the air, and his entire face and body cover he wept saying, “Shame and folly!  Cursed and abomination we have become bastard children discarded and shunned.  The house of hope has become a place for the worship of the dead!”
  The Nephilim sons were bewildered and in shock of the dwarf’s reaction.  They tried to tell them it was but a memorial for a season of grief.  But, when the rest of the Ambassador’s household went inside to see the cause of such uproar, they too came out doing and crying the same as their master, Lagros.  At night fall they gathered all their belongings and returned to Jebul in haste.
   On the fourth day, since their leaving, a great host of dwarves arrived and surrounded both the city of Lindol and Mithar.  Leading them was King Kwandol with Lagros as Ambassador at his side, Cho-mak Captain of the guards, standard bearers and warriors were at the ready.  Without a word to anyone, he passed by King Korale in silence.  The dwarf lord entered the Great Hall to witness for himself if the deeds told him were spoken in truth or not.  Standing beside the Urn, and in front of the new Nephilim King, the dwarf tore his own shirt crying, “What is the meaning of this unholy desecration?”
   Korale replied softly, “There was no ill intent presented here, but to give honor for a season to our precious fathers, who birthed our purpose.”
  “This worship of the dead is beyond memorializing, as you have also discarded the great seal of our presence here,” Shouted Kwandol!  Always by his side was his pet lion, which the dwarf king kept in tow upon a chain.  At his anger, the beast called Thrombel, roared in his master’s defense.  All, but the two arguing leaders remained in the domed chamber, as fright caused the aids of the Nephilim king to retreat beyond the outer porch.
   Seeing their very alliance continuing to unravel, with yet another misunderstanding, and no hope of mending, Kwandol asked, “Shall we strive once more?”  He shook his head no, “How shall we return to another thousand years of broken vows?  It was our generation who sought, and found that peace shall never be held in this manner between us.  Even after this – abomination – is removed, the tarnish of your true deeds, done with whispers is now fully known to my sleeping ears.  Our eyes have been awakened to your ways indeed, for they are unlike your father’s intent.  I fear that all our days are numbered, as mistrust and lies have been seeded beyond the ability of being uprooted!”
  The High Priest, Shayma Redhawk who rebutted from the hallway, “It was not us, but your prideful foolishness that brought calamity here with your gathered host and that starved creature, oh king of dirt!”  Thrombel roared again and began to lung forward but, the dwarf’s surprising strength pulled him back.
   Suddenly a torrent of angry curses and raised voices flowed out of that chamber.  Like the lion’s thunder, the two races outside were bursting into shouting as well.  A civil war was on the verge of erupting.


   It was in that very moment that another figure intervened between those two feuding kings.  A young man known to all set himself apart, and from that day onward divided everyone to new allegiances.  It was Nadan, the son of Galadir and the first of the long-lived Nephilim.  Both Korale and Kwandol turned to the silence figure.  He stood with an outstretched hand.  To all their amazement the lion, Thrombel was hushed, lay down, yawned and did nothing thereafter.  With a calm voice he spoke, to where even the gathered crowds outside could hear him:
“Upon a might hill I saw
covered ‘neath the massive waves,
vast oceans crashing upon oceans;
nowhere for a lone raven,
not even branch to rest came.

The dead were washed asunder
till the lands reappeared,
and the waters receded;
only then did a handful remain,
they shall bury the waste of thousands.

For the world had turned ‘round
beholding the face of their own arrogance;
and a grave shame unto itself,
as pride and vanity were all about.

Eating without care or want in lust,
and drinking the filth of such wine,
beyond gluttony’s ripe pleasure
was  in everything they did.

For disrespect of Eldar ways or peers
fearless in the face of gross sin;
eager to way-lay the innocent,
even among the weak of kin.

The Land will be without love
and natural affections – meaningless;
right living will be laughed at
in the face of sick perversions.

Men will lie with animals
as if alongside a woman;
and they will neglect their own,
for the forgetfulness of blissful herbs.

The world will stumble into the arms
of greed and lust of glory;
all men’s folly will be praised
no shame of your example this day!”

   In that moment he became the Prophet Nadan, just as mysterious as the wizards of old.  When he finished speaking, the lion lay on its side dead and the wide-eyed crowds parted without a word for explanation. 
   Seeing Thrombel deceased, the dwarf king shouted, “Forgive us oh Lord!”  Yet, King Korale’s heart was hardened against such things that day, and banished forever dwarves forever from his city.

   As if defeated in battle the gates were opened to the fleeing dwarven people, cursed and exiled.  Kwandol took the body of his pet and bewailed his loss before his bewildered host.  Just beyond the statued gate’s shut doors, Kwandol sliced his own throat and bled-out, lying atop the dead lion.  Both beast and fallen king were returned to Mount Jebul and the dwarves were never seen in the Bay city of Mithar again.  Thus ended the Great Alliance and began the ministry of the Prophet Nadan Omdir.





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Ara-non The Merchant

Ara-non The Merchant

   NADAN
 MEETS ARA-NON THE MERCHANT
  8 Ara-non visited a woman who lived in the tent city of Slavath.  She was the wife of camel herder named, Ha-lam.  2 Ara-non had seduced the woman, Za-Elle with flattering words, and she had secretly invited him for more than words.
   3 At night she opened the door of her tent, wearing only thin veils, and greeted him with warm embraces of her own.  4 Ha-lam was not home, and their bed lay empty and cold.  Za-Elle seduced the man who was not her husbandman with the dancing-flattery that only a woman can do.  5 These became touches and more upon her bed covers where she led him.  Soon they knew one another, even though they did not belong to each other.  Their passions found new discoveries.  6 After sometime, Za-Elle i rose up, saying to him, “Lie here till I return, my love.  I must attend my daughter before she awakes in the next room.”
   7 Moments later the naked woman came and lay with him as before, enjoying the company of one another’s burning lust.  Near dawn Ara-non dressed and returned to his life in the city of Lindol, down the road from Slavath.   8 Three day later, Za-Elle sent word, an invitation for another night, as before.  Seven such did they share, forgetting the world about them.  Instead of an eighth, Za-Elle  sent word, “Never again.”
  9  Eight years passed without news, not even a random meeting of her.  2 Ara-non, the seller of wares continued as before.  He would leave his home near Lindol’s northern wall and pushing his cart down the cobbled streets.  3 He ventured to the Adjoining Gate, which separated Lindol from the city of Mithar.  Two hours before noon, and two hours after noon everyday were the gates left opened for the people to freely travel as they chose.  4 For at Mithar’s southern arched gateway a great market sprang up, drawing the people from everywhere to gather news and barter their goods.
   10 One day as Ara-non set out his jewelry cart of silver rings, woven bracelets, beaded earrings, shell necklaces, and images of the gods and goddesses; a strange chain of events changed his life forever. 
   2 While selling idols in the market square of Lindol a young girl came to Ara-non.  She said nothing but only watched him with others.  Turning to her, the merchant asked, “Would you care to trade for the image of Ulmo, god of the sea?”
   3 The girl gave no answer.
   4 Again, Ara-non asked her, “Ah, perhaps a lamp to recall the blessed light of the goddess Yevonna?”
   5 The girl of fifteen years smiled, but gave no sign of interest in his wares.  Finally, she spoke, “I am Eana-lyn of Kathos.”
   6 Ara-non stood still.
  7 Eana-lyn broke his silence, seeing his smiling eyes recognized her name, “Yes, my mother was Za- Elle of Slavath.”
   8 A wondering look came upon his face.
   9 The girl continued, “I remember seeing you love my mother three different times in the night.  They were secret meetings, which my mother swore me to tell no one.  I never did.
   10 “I remember seeing you on occasion in the temple as well; offering incense and prayers to Eru.  One time you even picked me up as a child, while my mother gave coins to the Mitharian Priests at their gate.
   11 “There were many times I caught my mother stealing glances in search of you, but you never saw us watching you from afar.”  Eana-lyn smile at the remembrance.
   12 “How -,” Ara-non began to ask.
   13 “How is she,” Eana-lyn asked in place of him.
   14 “Yes,” He confirmed.  “How is she and your father?”
   15 “My father – Ha-lam – is not well…”
   16 “I am sorry to –” Ara-non began, but the girl continued with, “My father has not been well ever since -.”  17 She removed a bracelet and handed it over to the jewelry merchant to inspect.  He knew very well the knotted, yellow and red beaded wristlet, for its distinctive woven-pattern was his own.         18 The man’s heart sank as his eyes welled up with tears.
   19 “My mother always told me that if anything ever – “
   20 “I know.  When? How,” He cried, listening to her answer?
   21 “My mother always bought fresh fish, caught at the port of Kathos.  I am still unsure what she enjoyed more, the dress stalls or riding her horse southward to get there.
   22 “Seven weeks ago… a snake crossed the path, throwing her from her horse.  Hours later other travelers found her on the road where she had fallen.”
   23 The man’s face suddenly showed his age.  He was consumed with grief, “Eana-lyn, my deepest sorrow could never tell you how sorry I am.”  24 The loss was a crushing blow to old man.
   25 A few moments later, the young girl smiled again, asking, “I myself am to be a bride unto Joel, a fishmonger in Kathos, in three months times.  26 Joel looks at me the same way my mother did you from afar.  So, tell me truthfully Ara-non, had Za-Elle not belonged to my father, would you - ?”
   27 He interrupted her with, “Six-teen winters ago I felt the very sorrow your father does now, sweet one.  For the next ten thousand years shall I morn your mother’s passing.” 28 His was a broken smile.
   29 Before she turned to leave, Eana-lyn said, “I always had great affection for you Ara-non, for the love I saw you had for my mother.  She cared deeply for you, in her own way these many years.”  As she turned and left, the merchant noticed something strange happen.
   11 Several.... 

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NOT because of me...

I can't do anything. I am weak, slow, foolish, and fight with my inner man daily... But I know there is someone greater and better than all the self-lies and doubts and excuses and reasons ever devised... 
....{MY TESTIMONY}.... I had drifted away from attending the Kingdom Hall meetings as everyone in my family had fallen away from 'the truth'. I started dating a Baptist girl, we got married, and had a baby; so I started going back to the meetings. I decided to finally get baptized after having been raise for 13 years as a Jehovah's Witness; everyone in my family had already been baptized but me. The topic of refusing blood came up and my new wife was livid, absolutely furious with me when I said our new baby would have to die rather than accept blood. My Baptist wife told me, "I don't care what you do, but that child is half mine and I will fight to save all of her! Don't ever tell me anything again from your books. ONLY from the Bible." It was THEN, for the first time in my entire life I realized I had never actually "read" The Bible before. For two years I used Biblical Genealogy as my personal study guide. I compared verse by verse study, and from cover to cover read the entire Bible nine times within two years!!! NO ONE studied with me; No Ministerial Servant, no Elder, No Deacon, No Pastor, not even my wife! I - ME _ I dug out the gems of The Bible alone for myself in two years and found Jesus Christ to be Jehovah and the Holy Spirit moved like no manipulating man ever could. You want to know THE TRUTH? Read the BIBLE - alone. The Bible alone will teach you; shut up and listen and you WILL hear GOD's voice; THAT is a promise, from someone who has "been there and done that".
Just know a crisis WILL happen, something only you and you alone will face. NO ONE can tell you or make you study with the conviction of a "broken heart", you will be the ONLY person to know "when" to search for GOD. But I will make you this utter solid promise [and bank on this from a person who NEVER promises anything!] I promise GOD will answer and never let you down, "when" (not if) you seek him. May not be today, it may even be four years from now, after you've screwed up your life worse; but bank on it THE TRUTH alone is found in JESUS not some corrupt publishing book company only out to get control of your money and robotic life with no interest, concern nor love for you like only HE can. Blessings on you!!!!
No one can force Jesus on you. No one can "change" you. LOL Like that can ever happen. When you find - you've "screwed up" every choice you could ever could is usually at that point when we "pray" someone takes over. I have tried to commit suicide four different times and every time I came back from that brink to realize I need him ever more. When you [ realize ] we ourselves and no one else screws up our lives and in the depths of the core of who we are - ONLY GOD can heal, accept and build. Only then when we look back over our healed lives do we slowly begin to see that "change" is only found in him!!!! I am nothing and have so far still to go in reaching that High Calling.... LOL LOL but ... at least I am listening again.

LOL



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