LITHIUM

Mental Health is all we really have.  Sure the physical certainly helps to carry the mind forward towards it goals; but the mind is the engine for inspiration and concepts.  Sometimes my mind whirls.  What I mean by that is that my thoughts randomly jump from one topic to another as I seem to bore easily or am already three squares over and to the left of where the topic I was just on was.  My "highs" and excited joys are extremely High.  Whereas, even more so on the swing my moody blues are "lower" than the average bear and usually swing and stay in the dark the longest.

We all have "issues" - who doesn't?

I went and saw my doctor the other day.  I just had an honest, all the cards on the table discussion with him.  Keep me out of the "nut house" doc, but help me level out the pendulum swings, please!  I've tried suicide before, and by the Grace of God it's been many years since those Dark Thoughts evades my waking desires.  I feel like crying - all the time.  The face of a beautiful woman, a gorgeous sunset, a silly TV commercial, or even a Country Western song would push me over the edge.  NO ONE KNOWS how many times I've gone to the rest room just to wipe my face and put the fake smile back on like some Anonymous Mask to hid behind.  I am a perfectionist in my thoughts, and a mess in my actions.  My highs are too high and last not near as long as forever; yet my devastating lows crest the pits of depressions that have no end.  Many thoughts would have me Snap in a CNN way.

We all, all of us have "issues".  Mental whirlings and thoughts that swing either way is just a daily occurrence for the normal Joe but when they stay way too long at one end or the other sometimes choices made aren't the best.

YESTERDAY the doctors prescribed Lithium for me and on a form I saw "Bipolar". So, begins a new journey for me.


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