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NOT because of me...

I can't do anything. I am weak, slow, foolish, and fight with my inner man daily... But I know there is someone greater and better than all the self-lies and doubts and excuses and reasons ever devised... 
....{MY TESTIMONY}.... I had drifted away from attending the Kingdom Hall meetings as everyone in my family had fallen away from 'the truth'. I started dating a Baptist girl, we got married, and had a baby; so I started going back to the meetings. I decided to finally get baptized after having been raise for 13 years as a Jehovah's Witness; everyone in my family had already been baptized but me. The topic of refusing blood came up and my new wife was livid, absolutely furious with me when I said our new baby would have to die rather than accept blood. My Baptist wife told me, "I don't care what you do, but that child is half mine and I will fight to save all of her! Don't ever tell me anything again from your books. ONLY from the Bible." It was THEN, for the first time in my entire life I realized I had never actually "read" The Bible before. For two years I used Biblical Genealogy as my personal study guide. I compared verse by verse study, and from cover to cover read the entire Bible nine times within two years!!! NO ONE studied with me; No Ministerial Servant, no Elder, No Deacon, No Pastor, not even my wife! I - ME _ I dug out the gems of The Bible alone for myself in two years and found Jesus Christ to be Jehovah and the Holy Spirit moved like no manipulating man ever could. You want to know THE TRUTH? Read the BIBLE - alone. The Bible alone will teach you; shut up and listen and you WILL hear GOD's voice; THAT is a promise, from someone who has "been there and done that".
Just know a crisis WILL happen, something only you and you alone will face. NO ONE can tell you or make you study with the conviction of a "broken heart", you will be the ONLY person to know "when" to search for GOD. But I will make you this utter solid promise [and bank on this from a person who NEVER promises anything!] I promise GOD will answer and never let you down, "when" (not if) you seek him. May not be today, it may even be four years from now, after you've screwed up your life worse; but bank on it THE TRUTH alone is found in JESUS not some corrupt publishing book company only out to get control of your money and robotic life with no interest, concern nor love for you like only HE can. Blessings on you!!!!
No one can force Jesus on you. No one can "change" you. LOL Like that can ever happen. When you find - you've "screwed up" every choice you could ever could is usually at that point when we "pray" someone takes over. I have tried to commit suicide four different times and every time I came back from that brink to realize I need him ever more. When you [ realize ] we ourselves and no one else screws up our lives and in the depths of the core of who we are - ONLY GOD can heal, accept and build. Only then when we look back over our healed lives do we slowly begin to see that "change" is only found in him!!!! I am nothing and have so far still to go in reaching that High Calling.... LOL LOL but ... at least I am listening again.

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VENTURE INTO MY WORLD

VENTURE INTO MY WORLD
The Watcher's Book of Books