I love Elizabeth so very much, and it tearfully makes me proud at how much she truely does love James; she's matured SO much with the birth of Savannah. And now, now they've moved away. Oh, still in the same area; from three miles, to nine miles away. But - the cord is so difficut to let go and her love in her own way. The "empty nest" never had such a punch with meaning as it does now. I thought it was my wife, Alice who be the emotional one - but I guess it's not really hit either one of us yet that the Wheel of Time really does cause one to view the world differently with age. Not that forty-three is ancient mind you; just, never saw myself at forty-three wondering how if came so fast...
Geesh! Some people need to get a life. Man, I'm glad no one knows I'm a Lord of the Rings, and Babylon 5 - kind of guy...
Being a big Star Trek fan; since a kid, I've always wanted a StarFleet Computer. I came across a freeware program: HOLONOTES, that enable you to create files: address directories, inventory your books, phone book - whatever you want.
Another one lets you re-program your computer into the LCARS Starfleet format; if you're a little more savy with codes.
Weirdly amazing, somehow.
It really does seem very difficult to imagine; only - wow, not too long along, I was getting married to my pregnant girlfriend, two months later I was holding our baby in my arms.
Now, I'm a grandfather holding my baby's baby; getting ready for a wedding...
I have never really had any ill feelings toward Elizabeth; I think its just that we're "too much alike," and how I imbued her with a certain brashness to be accepted-most of all to herself. Too hard? I have always been afraid. Afraid of the resopncibility, of being a "Dad",(Wow, the pedestal image of my own). But now looking back on it all I guess I did- I guess WE did alright.
Yeah. Elizabeth is pertty special. Atractive, smart, witty. I'm very proud of our daughter; the wheel truns us along toward another chapter in the story of our lives.
I remember when, it was now...
I feel... well, just - bad.
Don't fell like doing much. Nothing seems to be interesting; other than getting rid of the head conjestion so I can breath. Yeah, nothing seems to matter when ya can't breath. Tried all last Saturday, during my 16 hours at work, to get off and be sent home; only to be given one frustrating excuse after another about the "coverage" shortage. So I called in on Sunday. Went to work on Tuesday afternoon; got sent home for being sick. Yesterday (still sick mind you) I got "writen up" at work for not having a Dr.'s excuse for last weekend! Great! Not only do I feel like the bottom of a tired shose but get reemed out for missing time at work; I have 237 hours of sick leave but can't take it - go figure? F- State!
grrrr sigh.... I feel - bad.
maybe i'll erase this crappy post later...
An old 1950s railroad car has been redone into a resturant - that actually serves rather good sandwiches. Across town a new Train Museum is underconstruction, that will be neat to revisit.
Though many things seem the same there are changes over taking the forest of Deadwood. Goggin Park, where we were married, is now undergoing a face lift; with all its playground equiptment removed. Several new Howard Payne University buildings have gone up. An underpass' overpass has been deconstructed. Various neighborhoods across town have fallen to neglect and disrepair, which is sad to see. Seeing my Dad again was nice. Because I work the weekends everyone else was at work, which freed up a lot of time to revisit the past. It was great visiting Tehuti, and Victoria Rose; who are both some of the neatest folks you could ever meet. Then, of course there was HOWARD.