[APARTMENT 123]
Beethoven Adolf Bryan woke up in a panic. Beethoven was named by his schizophrenic music loving mother, and his bi-polar history-buff father; needless to say he went by Bryan. Bryan had scrambled headedly gotten up that morning thinking he was running late, when in fact it was his day off.
Three weeks ago he had finally gotten around to replacing the cracked mirror on the cabinet door above his toilet. He had mirrors of every kind, shape and size on every wall in his small, heavily cluttered one bedroom apartment. There was just something about the illusion of a larger place that appealed to him, besides, the idea of a different world possibly lurking on the other side of the glass was an intriguing idea as well.
On that morning as he took a leak, the image staring back must have surely been from the world on the other-side because it was not his own. How could it be? With those overly wild eye brows and uncombed bushy tuff of scariness staring back at him were of someone who had gotten old and out of shape. Bryan returned a grimace to the image. His thoughts snapped.
At the mall’s Supper Cuts a young lady with a huge bust and tiny body attempted to turn Bryan into one of the celebrity want a bees in the photos framed beside the mirror that held the image of a man draped and ready to be sheared or executed. As the overly top heavy girl worked on her captive the image slowly evolved into a thick lipped, glazed-eyed, chubby faced man whose thinly, water-down bangs shouted, “Look at me world, I’m a freaken idiot!”
That’s when he snapped. Politely thanking and paying the anorexic cashier, Bryan left. Sat outside the shop nonchalantly looking at magazines and waited until the girl who had fleeced him got off work. He would follow her home, go through her back-ally garbage and learn all her secrets, discover who her friends were and collect their garbage as well. After the eighteen bags had been dumped on Thin Girl’s front porch, Bryan would leave a “just-as-polite” note reminding her of the cost for butchering someone’s hair.
After he had finished peeing, Bryan realized he had the day off and decided to go back to bed and dream of getting Thin Girl’s phone number instead.
