We've all said, "I remember when..." But for me, it doesn't seem to come so easy.
I have a very close friend who remembers things in such exacting detail that I'm just astonished. My childhood, on the other hand, is a vauge, uneventful blur at times.
Like...
I remember growing up as a child in the "Jehovah's Witnesses", and attending the Assemblies/ Conventions. I use to really enjoy the ones where the Dramas took place. There was this one, back in 1972 I think, where they had these models of Seriphims at the corners of the stage; huge, angelic beings - even huge next to the adults. I loved the dramas/plays. There was one about The Exodus; my Dad even recorded it on audio tape, and I loved to listened to it over and over again, reading along with it in the Bible, while looking at the photos of the stage, and those huge angles.
I remember as a kid; growing up I use to be the "doorman" at our local Kingdom Hall; I felt so honored. Welcoming others in to Jehovah's HOUSE with a prideful grin. I listened intently to every public talk (sermon), and was eager to raise my hand and answer every question I could during the WatchTower discusions. The other kids thought I was weird for being such a 'go getter.' As I grew up, the more questions I asked the more nervous the elders became; then after awhile, I was discouraged from asking so many things, and just told to acept "The Truths" and go on.
Then one day I did - just go on; and haven't been back since. I don't remember much; other than going door-to-door, the Assemblies, and attending the Home Book (not Bible) Studies, always being around other JWs, and encouraged to be a better example in the field service - rather than to go to college, or even finishing High School for that matter.
I never owned a G.I Joe, wasn't allowed to watch BeWitched!, didn't go to a football game, after learning - was later discouraged from playing the War Game: Chess, never had a Christmass gift, nor every worshiped the flag, nor even step mysef above others by having a birthday party.
I never 'cried' about not being like everyone else, because it was a badge of honor to be persecuted, different, and set apart from the world; only later as an adult did I come to terms with those losses and developed other dreams. I raised my own child to enjoy the things I never had; and encouraged her to devour her dreams and follow her heart's desire. It's a rare gift - to have something worth remembering - I think I gave my daughter that gift.
Eighteen was my time of awaking; I became a free thinker - by being accepted for who I was, by a group of High School peers who showed me the true meaning of love, caring, and open mindedness in simply being themselves. To them I will be eternally grateful for being my "Friends." For giving me a memory - worth remembering. . .
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Forbidden:
ReplyDeleteObviously you never cultivated a relationship with Jehovah deep in your heart. Somewhere in there you remember the joy of serving him though. When you said the elders discouraged you from asking questions, I'm sorry, but I find that so very difficult to believe being that I'm as Doubting Thomas as they come.
If you fell away, it was of your own fault and heart condition. Why look to others to answer questions when Jehovah has so abundantly provided the material to fulfill our hearts desire when it comes to answers?
It's ok to have goals, dreams. Finish high school, get an education. Jehovah as a loving father, wants the best for us. The Friends were well-meaning. They just wanted to encourage you to fit spirituality into your life as you grew. Not to push away everything else, rather, to have a balance.
You can have your hearts desires now and feel like there is always something missing. Or you can strive to uphold Jehovah's service and keep into reality the things that are not yet beheld.
I was raised with one parent not accepting the truth, and one very strong. I had to learn both ways and choose. But all in all, it was my relationship with Jehovah that made me work to make myself a better person.. to serve him. And once my father passed away from cancer, the hopes and promises set out in the Bible was the only thing that got me through. If, god forbid, you died tomorrow as my father did, how sad... how truly devistated... would your daughter be, with no hope to ever see you again?
What pleasures are you going to choose deep down? The ones that can bring you temporary happiness, or the joy that can last forever?
You had the chance to learn the Truth. Please at least give that opportunity to your daughter. Let her make her own decisions.
~From a Friend who's seen Both Sides