My New ""Normal""

   I have a Mental Health Disorder; labeled "Bipolar".  Exemplified by grave mood swings and emotional bouts and manic depressive thoughts into the dark side. I know others that have been dealing with the manic side's horrific state for longer, and far worse than my experience.  Don't let that define you, they tell me; it's just a tag to categorized you into.  I take Lithium to level off the chemical imbalances in my brain.  Though I know far many more people who take more psychotropic drugs and for far longer than I have, I'm still sticking with the program. Don't let it define you, they tell me; it's just a medication you take to control your disorder.  Disorder.  My ORDER was always an illusion I can 'normal'.

   My new normal, AS A WAY OF SUMMERY UPDATE; so far, is becoming use to the medication - feeling numb.  If light drowsy, headed and dizzy, numb around the edges is my new normal I suppose I've got it made then.  No dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, tremors, boils, hallucinations, no pill rolling, nor even any exaggerated movements - at this junction to report.

  So far, I've not cried or felt like weeping over old buried luggage that should remain discarded.  I am trying to "feel" again or least get use to feeling what "normal" is.  I... I've never been "normal" before.  I like being happy; trying to understand that one too.

   Don't let things define you; make your own path.  One neat thing is I thought I would not be able to write and develop a closure to my short stories; I think (I hope) I am becoming more focused to that end.

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