Why I write

Stories abound... Sometimes I wake up from nightmares; I write them down, and then later turn them into stories. Sometimes at work these flashes of clarity hit me; and I write them down on folded sheets of paper I keep in my pocket. I feel like crying. Most days people see me laughing or smiling; but I feel like I am about to burst into tears. I know so many of the dead; old friends I never see; voices crowding in my thoughts come out as stories to be told. I focus my depression and know I'm not alone in my pain, fear and loss. That is why I write. I need to learn to spell, to devise better grammar, to tell a story better - but it's all better than crying and feeling suicidal.