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Just to hear her Beating Heart

My wife and I were woken from our "it couldn't happen to us" slumber. At the beginning of her brother's ordeal she suffered a heart attack; refused treatment but later had me take her in to the hospital. She struggled to bear the stress of her brother's situation, and deal with her own weakly managed Diabetes. So on the 15th of November 2007 she had open heart surgery, ending with a quadruple by-pass.

My life froze beyond the crawl of slow motion, and the constant gripping fear that I could in fact lose her. For four FMLA weeks I micromanaged her every step toward home recovery, which now finds us striving to meet better health care issues. I am very blessed with my Christmas Gift this year, of having my beautiful wife back in my life! Just to hear her beating heart again in my life is a mirical in more ways than I can imagine. Twenty five years of marriage were too brief a time when I waited in that ICU wondering if I would see her again, I feel like I am so honored to just write these feeble lines and blog again.

Tears in the Silence

I love my brother, Tracy, even though we've grown apart since childhood, and as adults we've tried to heal those riffs. Next to my wife, Alice (and my daughter of course), the closest person to my heart is Master Tehuti. We've been closer than even Tracy and I ever were. Tehuti has been a brother more true than blood and as close as my soul-mate. Even so, the last few years since my wife's brother, Michael came to be a part of our lives, after living in New Jersey for 20 years of sparse silence, it has been nice and trying at the same time.

We've grown together as friends, and like Tehuti in spirit. He's inspired and helped me in developing my Nephilim story - though in truth I still have a long way to go.

Visiting him in the hospital today was a real struggle of heart; seeing him look so distant of mind, trying hard recall and make sense of who even I was. I pray the goddess blesses his mind, because from what I've seen this morning - some of my State School clients are higher level. More than one can take in beyond assuming as his financial matters and daily matters - overwhelming.

I feel grieved with guilt, the "should haves- could haves- and what ifs- " but those burdens are not helpful, when I know deep inside I did the best I could with each day given. Not perfect, for we all fail in our path's struggle to near the light; Michael knew my mind. Blessed Be. This is just another gift to strengthen me into the person I am to become, and be remembered for enduring such needs. When I'm alone, like now all I can do is cry, but the crying leads to weeping, which does no good either, so I just sniff it up and smile inside and continue on. Death comes in many shades; even in the forgotten faces of distant loved ones. At a crossroads in my life where I am once again strengthened and inspired, to challenge old beliefs and reinvent myself anew. And still Alice holds my hand along the way.

MICHAEL'S Long Journey Back

10/19/2007--The last time that I spoke to my brother-in-law, Michael , was about 1:00pm or so in the afternoon yesterday; about money matters, and seeing how his search to fix his car was going. He came to the door half asleep, and dressed for bed. He briefly mentioned that he was going to play phone tag on getting various issues taken care of. Knowing that he worked the graveyard shift the night before, I took off back to my apartment across the street. Later about 6pm in the evening I went over again, knocked with no answer - thinking nothing of it - "he's just sleeping late". Nothing unusual there. My son-in-law James returned to Michael's place, to give him a ride to work; so as to get some make up time out of the way, but again received no answer at the door. Thinking this extremely odd I went over, with our spare key.

Continuing to call out his name I found Michael lying in bed, stiffening, cold, with shallow breathing and fading pulse; James could not revive Mike either. I called Alice on my cell, back at our apartment, to call 911 on the land line. Within moments the EMS arrived and discovered his Diabetic blood count at a deathly low 20mg/dL on their meter; he had gone into a hypoglycemic comatose state.

Today Michael continues in the ICU in critical condition...

10/21/2007----------I took off from work early today, too stressed to deal with it all. Came home and Alice and I went over to Mike's apartment. After eating supper we went to the hospital for a visit with Mike. Still no progress. This is not written in stone. Seems we are in for the long haul, indeed. For Michael continues on a ventilator machine, assisting his weakened breathing. Perhaps in two weeks he may be able to upgrade to a trac in his throat instead. A trac will bypass the soft tissue of the mouth and help prevent breakdown, and sores. Yet, with a trac Michael will more than likely need to be moved into a long-term care facility.

Today is Sunday, four days since he "went down". At this point, nothing has changed in his condition. Gleaning from the various things we've been told: no real assessment of his cognitive skill level can be determined; when the sedation's are turned down, within moments a noticeable change can be seen. From his sleep like, comatose state, Michael's eyes open, toes begin to curl and twitch, stiff arms slowly rise as if to pull the tubes out but then abate.

There is no real acknowledgement of our presence before him, calling his name or suggesting that if he hears us to nod his head or blink his eyes a number of times for yes or no, to questions. Then after ten minuets or so of failing to acknowledge us or the nursing staff, his sedation is once again raised to higher levels causing the comatose state to come over him in a manner of seconds; stiff and unresponsive. We were told that he's developed ARDS; a lung condition that has severely diminished is already poor condition.

We are emotionally exhausted, mentally challenged and seemingly at wits ends. The caring hospital staff seem more than eager to pleasantly meet and expand upon our many questions. We go home and rehearse everything over again among ourselves, then readjust our long short/long term plans until the next visit - what else can we do?

10/23/2007----------I went to see Mike by myself, Alice has been having a real struggle with all this and not handling things too great. As I told her, last night Michael showed more signs of progress than since he's been admitted. Small steps like following the nurse's finger with his eyes, nodding and which hand to squeeze. The Lung Specialist {Michael's lungs are the major issues at this time}, was most pleased, "because at least we know the circuits are connected". We are still nowhere near "being out of the woods" nor speculating at what cognitive level he is at now. His doctor mentioned that, whatever permanent brain damage Michael sustained while he was down, would be evident once he is able to be taken off the ventilator. Yet, when he is brought down off the sedation, for such recognition "tests" he so far does not fair very well - such is the waiting game. Michael's present condition has shaken me to my core.

10/24/2007----------Even though there may be "hoops" to jump through with Medicaid we may HAVE to go that route. No one in the family has the money to pay for him to be in a facility of any kind. It HAS to be covered through his insurance or Medicaid /medicare. If he is put in such a rehab facility we may have no choice but to let his apartment go. Because of all the issues with his car, it may be the first to go, as well.

I spoke with a Social Worker of the ICU, who will latter as he progresses, hand me off to another. I was told that depending on my brother-in-law's condition at discharge form the hospital, would determine the direction of resource support they could provide.

Last night Michael was the most responsive we've seen since he has been in the Hospital; just as the doctors have been describing: alert tracking eyes, trying to mouth words, and following simple bed ridden directions like "move your leg". Sometime today, if he continues to progress, Michael should be taken off the ventilator and grow stronger at breathing on his own. Though there's a "light at the end of the tunnel", he's not "out of the woods" yet.

10/25-07---------James and I visited him last night, and today he did not remember it at all. Today,(my wife) Alice and I went to visit with Michael at the hospital, they've taken him off the vent, and he now has a nasal O2 tube. His recognition level is still very uncertain, but appears to know that he's not hungry, and about needing to use the rest room. He is uncertain what his or even a middle name is, at this time. We are continuing to play the Waiting Game...

Ready for SEX?

You know, my daughter is grown, with two children of her own, but it makes my skin crawl to think of where we as a nation are heading. Can you imagine your daughter or grand-daughter, at - say the age of 11 or 12 in Middle School, receiving birth control and you not even given the opportunity to be made aware of the fact? Well, call me a conservative or worse, small minded and still in the 20th Century, but I want to at least pretend that I still have some "rights" in American. Most importantly, I want to have the Right to raise my own child as I see fit and be aware of what effects them. I didn't really didn't thinkO'Reilly was that crazy!

ID's Coming!

Just because I am paranoid does not mean that they are not out to get me. I went, and got my new vehicle registration today, and out of curiosity inquired next door at the TX-DMV, about the REAL ID. HA! Knew I wasn't crazy. Starting in the spring of {May} 2008 the State of Texas will begin issuing the new identification cards, "as soon as our equipment arrives, and staff are trained."

[ Enacted in May of 2005, the Real ID Act presents a significant challenge to the Departments Driver License Division (DLD). As passed, the statute will have a wide-reaching impact on our citizens as it will require all 20 million existing Texas driver license and identification card (DL/ID) holders to present
their respective identity credentials to driver license office personnel between May 11, 2008 and May 10, 2013. The Acts proposed rules are specific and create implementation challenges with operational, legislative, technological and fiscal limitations. Implementing Real ID will require additional staff,
facilities, training and the development, expansion and deployment of numerous real-time verification systems. Accordingly, costs associated with Real ID will be significant. The discontinuation of the on-line and telephone transactions (via Texas On-line) will eliminate these respective transaction
fees, resulting in a loss in general revenue to the state. Real ID regulations are currently being developed by the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). The Department will pursue conforming legislation to implement necessary programs in order to comply with the regulations. ]

It is good to know that the Department of Homeland Security is taking care of us all.
[ Seal Description:
In the center of the seal, a graphically styled white American eagle appears in a circular blue field. The eagle's outstretched wings break through an inner red ring into an outer white ring that contains the words "U.S. DEPARTMENT OF" in the top half and "HOMELAND SECURITY" in the bottom half in a circular placement. The eagle's wings break through the inner circle into the outer ring to suggest that the Department of Homeland Security will break through traditional bureaucracy and perform government functions differently. In the tradition of the Great Seal of the United States, the eagle's talon on the left holds an olive branch with 13 leaves and 13 seeds while the eagle's talon on the right grasps 13 arrows.
Centered on the eagle's breast is a shield divided into three sections containing elements that represent the American homeland - air, land, and sea. The top element, a dark blue sky, contains 22 stars representing the original 22 entities that have come together to form the department. The left shield element contains white mountains behind a green plain underneath a light blue sky. The right shield element contains four wave shapes representing the oceans alternating light and dark blue separated by white lines. ]

NEXT BLOG... please

I use to get a really big kick out of clicking the NEXT BLOG key, but now with all the spam advertisements, goofy ads and porn - hey I like porn as much as the next guy but geessh give me a break! I started surfing the NB, and after a couple of hours I was rewarded with a few good sites out there of folks just trying to express themselves. If they ever pass this way I just wanted to let them know that on the other end of the cyber spectrum someone enjoyed their efforts, and to continue doing their best to challenge themselves and their readers to grow, and not be fearful of the crazy world. Because by the end of the day it is folks just like Kelly, John, Gina, Brian, Amy, Nadja, and Tanalee that make the Universe part of the wondrous experience that it is. Sometimes from Arizona and then sometimes from Australia, Bethlehem, Pa., New York, Indiana or Burlington - they come from all over. Bloggers are from all walks of life: from stay-at-home Moms, Photographers to those of us who just need to Journal our inner thoughts. It may be Just Another Day as a freelance writer in Public Relations, but your Tears haven't gone unoticed by everyone. Thanks, my fellow Bloggers, for not being afraid of being yourselves - an encouragement to the countless others, to voice and rant our ideas as well.

Death to the USA

Long Live The North American Union! The American version of the European Union is a reality that is coming soon. As a matter of fact our President continues to expand NAFTA, of the previous administration's agreements with Canada and Mexico. This is not the formation of a new government per se, but it might as well be, with its own currency "The Amero," and regulations that the countries involved must abide by.

With the forging of the various growing markets in Asia, Europe and now the newly formed North American Union, we are heading closer to the globally administrated economic market. It has long been feared by non-centralized governed peoples. Democracy and Freedom are illusionary buzz words espoused by those who are the movers and shakers behind the financial New World Order - and ahem, folks it's not The Freemasons! IF you care or have an opinion I would like to hear it.

A Preview of my Finished Tale

Do you " WANT " to know ?

You take THE BLUE PILL, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

You take THE RED PILL, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

I'm only offering you the Truth... Nothing more.

REMEMBER. You do have a choice; however, you cannot go back to un-knowing.

Masonic Mystic

I've started yet another Blog. Still with Blogspot, akin to my VOX account motiff, Masonicmystic shares various links and videos of interest to other Freemasons or those interested in learning more about them; my site is a litte off beat comparitivly speaking.

Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America (SPP):

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=6632255652046262625&hl=en" flashvars="">

The Gov. Says ...

Myth vs. Fact

Presidents Bush and his Mexican and Canadian counterparts in Waco, TX, on March 23, 2005.

Fact: The SPP is a dialogue to increase security and enhance prosperity among the three countries. The SPP is not an agreement nor is it a treaty. In fact, no agreement was ever signed.

Fact: The cooperative efforts under the SPP, which can be found in detail at http://www.spp.gov/, seek to make the United States, Canada and Mexico open to legitimate trade and closed to terrorism and crime. It does not change our courts or legislative processes and respects the sovereignty of the United States, Mexico, and Canada. The SPP in no way, shape or form considers the creation of a European Union-like structure or a common currency. The SPP does not attempt to modify our sovereignty or currency or change the American system of government designed by our Founding Fathers.

Fact: U.S. agencies involved with SPP regularly update and consult with members of Congress on our efforts and plans.

Fact: The SPP respects and leaves the unique cultural and legal framework of each of the three countries intact. Nothing in the SPP undermines the U.S. Constitution. In no way does the SPP infringe upon the sovereignty of the United States.

Fact: The SPP is legal and in no way violates the Constitution or affects the legal authorities of the participating executive agencies. Indeed, the SPP is an opportunity for the governments of the United States, Canada, and Mexico to discuss common goals and identify ways to enhance each nation’s security and prosperity. If an action is identified, U.S. federal agencies can only operate within U.S. law to address these issues. The Departments of Commerce and Homeland Security coordinate the efforts of the agencies responsible for the various initiatives under the prosperity and security pillars of the SPP. If an agency were to decide a regulatory change is desirable through the cooperative efforts of SPP, that agency is required to conform to all existing U.S. laws and administrative procedures, including an opportunity to comment.

Fact: The SPP is a White House-driven initiative. In the United States, the Department of Commerce coordinates the ‘Prosperity’ component, while the Department of Homeland Security coordinates the ‘Security’ component. The Department of State ensures the two components are coordinated and are consistent with U.S. foreign policy.

Fact: The U.S. government is not planning a NAFTA Super Highway. The U.S. government does not have the authority to designate any highway as a NAFTA Super Highway, nor has it sought such authority, nor is it planning to seek such authority. There are private and state level interests planning highway projects which they themselves describe as "NAFTA Corridors," but these are not Federally-driven initiatives, and they are not a part of the SPP.

Fact: Many States in the American Midwest are proposing or undertaking highway projects to improve or build roads as Federal-aid and State or private sector revenue becomes available. All projects involving Federal-aid funds or approvals are subject to normal Federal-aid requirements, such as review under the National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA), including public involvement. This public involvement, the common thread among all these activities, makes them anything but “secret.” In addition, Congress directs Department of Transportation funding for specific highway projects.

The Federal Highway Administration (FHWA) will continue to cooperate with the State transportation departments as they build and upgrade highways to meet the needs of the 21st century. Rather than evidence of a secret plan to create a NAFTA Super Highway that would undermine our national sovereignty, the FHWA’s efforts are a routine part of cooperation with all the State transportation departments to improve the Nation’s highways.

Fact: The U.S. Government did not sponsor the meeting in Banff. The North American Forum, a private initiative that is separate from the U.S. Government, hosted the September 12-14, 2006 conference “Continental Prosperity in the New Security Environment.” Academics, businesspersons, private citizens, and government officials from the U.S., Mexican, and Canadian governments attended the conference. The North American Forum is not a product of the SPP.

Fact: The SPP is being implemented with existing budget resources. Over the long-term, it will save U.S. taxpayers money by cutting through costly red tape and reducing redundant paperwork. This initiative will benefit the taxpayers through economic gain and increased security, thereby enhancing the competitiveness and quality of life in our countries.

Fact: The SPP’s initiatives and milestones with timelines can be found by clicking the Report to Leaders link at http://www.spp.gov/. The Web site contains a section to enable interested persons to provide input directly to the various working groups.

Fact: The framework will support and enhance cooperation and encourage the compatibility of regulations among the three partners while maintaining high standards of health and safety. Any regulatory changes will require agencies to conform to all U.S. administrative procedures, including an opportunity to comment. Enhanced cooperation in this area will provide consumers with more affordable, safer, and more diversified and innovative products.

Fact: Immigration reform is a legislative matter currently being debated in Congress and is not being dealt with in the SPP. Likewise, trade disputes between the United States, Canada, and Mexico are resolved in the NAFTA and WTO mechanisms and not the SPP.

Fact: The SPP seeks to create jobs by reducing transaction costs and unnecessary burdens for U.S. companies, which will bolster the competitiveness of our firms globally. These efforts will help U.S. manufacturers, spur job creation, and benefit consumers.

Fact: The SPP improves the safety and well-being of Americans. It builds on efforts to protect our environment, improves our ability to combat infectious diseases, such as avian influenza, and ensures our food supply is safe through the exchange of information and cooperation ─ improving the quality of life for U.S. citizens. Americans enjoy world class living standards because we are engaged with the world.

Fact: The SPP does not seek to rewrite or renegotiate NAFTA. It creates no NAFTA-plus legal status.

FORBIDDEN REQUIEM

MY STORY

I would love to hear what you think; feel free to leave a comment.

REMEMBERING 9 1 1

THE VICTIMS

Tiny Minds

When human arrogance begins to rub me the wrong way, to the point of frustration, I just think of how tiny we really are in the grand scheme of things and laugh - at myself and others. I do not believe that we are the ONLY life in the entire Universe; though I belive in Aliens and love a good science-fiction story, I don't quiet buy into the Visitation or abduction bit though. To me, that's a bit of the 'ol arrogance, or wishful thinking coming out again.

We no longer play 8-Tracks, or listen to transitor radios, so what makes us think that Vulcans are out there just waiting for our phone call? And if and when ET comes, what makes us think he will be cute and manageable?

We have enough problems here, and have left plently of our junk on the moon; what makes anyone honestly believe that ET (a race advanced enough to get here), would want to, knowing what we are really like? But seriously, it's a bigger Universe than we think, and so far this planet looks to be the only place we'll ever call home, least for quiet a long time to come. So, when are we going to start caring for it and each other? - Or wait, let me go and support the Troops...

Mystery of The Great Seal

Learn the Secret

The FAIRCHILD's New Blessing!

Some dear friends of ours, that we've not seen in years, have resently, back in June, had their second child, a daughter:

Victoria Lynn Fairchild, arrived June 20th at 1:59PM Texas time. She weighed 6 pounds and 1 ounce. She is 19 inches long. Momma and Baby are home safe and well, with her Daddy and older brother Alex!

We send our love and merriest of Congradulations to them all!

Initiation

I had my Initiation into the Freemasons tonight. . .

* * * * * * * *

Well I clicked on the sign-in to begin blogging my thoughts about becoming a Freemason; then I typed in my e-mail address, then my password. Since my computer has got some viruses it is running terribly slow - worst than if I had had regular dial-up internet service. So, waiting for the screen changes feels like "waiting forever". When the Blogger Dashboard finally comes up it is for a new posting, where I am now - composing and editing my thoughts, afterwards I will add a jpg (picture), from the many that I have previously right-clicked on and saved to a previously prepared folder, so that, like now, whenever I am actually ready to use or chose a picture the process wont be filled with searching for a picture instead of lossing thoughts during compisition of this post.



If you don't Blog or internet journal, say on My Space or such, you may have no idea what-in-the-world I am talking about. However, if you are far more acomplished at it than I am, just reading this post can be so mundane that it's boredom almost hurts to read.



Ever bite into a lemon? And then try to explain it to someone else. I remember watching Full Metal Jacket, like a hundred times, just to get in the mind set before I actually went off to join the military myself; then found out that basic trainning was such a vastly different "Experience" than watching a movie or hearing someone elses Vietnam War stories that I cried.



My joinning the Freemasons is just such an eye openner "Experience" . You can go on the web, and it doesn't take much time at all, to find the actual wording of the rituals and all the trappings of Masonry. But, the experience, the experience isn't there.



I'm just beginning to learn the Secret of Freemsonry. The Secret is. . .



The secret -- is simple, it must be experienced, one-on-one. Life and all its personal self improvement experiences are so personal that they are even vastly diffent from those who may endure them alongside yourself. We digest and internalize events differently, not better or worst -- just differently.



My Initiation into the Freemasons was just such an experience, that unless you've blogged before, eaten a lemon, been in the military you would never be able to relate - that's the big "secret" of it all. I heard one time, "Life's a Bitch!" Then it dawned it me, "If that's how you want to dress her."

Klaatu Wow!

I finally broke down and watched The Day The Earth Stood Still. Yeah, yeah I know - WHAT! You've never seen that movie!? Yeah, it was great. Tehuti, I understand "Klaatu barada nikto," thank you. I think it is more philosophical than The Matrix, in its simplicity more awe inspiring than Star Wars; and understand the origins to Star Trek - better, after having watched this film. Yes it is that good.

VAMPIRE The Masquerade

T H E G A M E

The ORDER of the Pheonix

For my birthday we all went out to see HARRY POTTER And The Order of the Pheonix. After having finally read the book, now seeing the moving I think the fifth movie is the best. After $12 million the first minent at theaters I guess I'm not the only one either to have seen it. Being magickally incline the real magic of these stories is the authour's ability to make the reader turn the page with invested interest. Great movie, great story - now on to the next and final chapter!

Happy Independence Day

Freedoms are great but they come at a high price; let's not take them for granted.

Salute!

A STAR WARS Imagination

My daughter, Elizabeth took me out for a belated Father's Day "gift". We went to see the Star Wars movie props Exhibit in Fort Worth. Actually the best part of it was just getting out with her; her and mom spend a lot of time together, and we seldom, so it was very nice.


Yodo seemed a lot smaller, and Chewbacca was huge! It was cool seeing the actual modle of the Empiral Crusier, from the opening sence of Ep. IV. We had a great time seeing all the details that the movie cameras didn't pick up; like how "cheap" Darth Vader's belt looked.

Afterwards we went to a high priced Japanese resturant and had sushi, the company and conversation was the best part; well seeing C-3PO was cool too.

Publishing Our Commitment:

N O T I C E

of

P A R T N E R S H I P

Michael Thomas Smith and David DeLane Snow do hereby form The Thomas-DeLane Company; in which to publish for sale the strategic board game: King's Corner, and as a venue for other possible entertainment projects.
We mutually agree that any and all income gained from the sale of King's Corner will be solely used for the purpose of producing additional game sets, at a price of $60.00 per game set. Whenever the sum of $300.00 is reached, we do agree to open a joint banking account for the aforementioned company. The intent of this account will be to meet such needs as: obtaining trademark rights for our Logo design, copyright on the rules of play, and any other legal entitlements to properly incorporate our venture. Such monies shall be withdrawn from this banking account, and duly noted records kept on transactions made.
May this undersigned, legal documemt serve to be a reminder of our commitment to this enterprise, announcement to the public, and attest that the founders of The Thomas-DeLane Company do agree to enter a joint partnership; for a trial period of twelve months. Afterwhich time, a re-evaluation to renew or discontinue said bussiness association will be determinded and thusly also published.

This _______ day of ___________________, 20____.

X _________________________________ _____________
Michael T. Smith Date
X_________________________________ _____________
David D. Snow Date
X_________________________________ _____________
Notary Public Witness Date

{Comments Welcomed}

My Brother

After calling my dad and wishing him a happy father's day, I turned around and called my brother, Tracy. He's three years my senior (46). Though as kids growing up we never quiet got along, over the years we've gotten along. After years of alcholism he's finally realized his issues and is now "recovering" - 172 days. Yesterday he got out of the hospital; he had his first heart attack. He was also diagnosed with emphysema - like our dad (whose 65). Now in this late stage of his life my brother realizes he's allowed so much of his life to slip away with little joy to show for it. Though we've grown closer over the last few years, we can't make up for passed failures, and my living in Texas and him in Indiana doesn't help matters; but we're trying.

Just a thought or two

Last night we had the family over for our house warming; drinking, and board games, with the TV going. It was nice. We've still got a few boxes left to unpack; now come the details of sorting it all out, but for the most part Alice has done a great job in arranging things into a home again. I really enjoy the fact that it's just us again. Mike's place is starting to take shape as well.

I've kinda droped out of the D&D DM-ing/ assisting bit. Now with our move, distance and all, I think the gaming will fade out. I'm working on the cyberQuest/ Cyber Hunt events, and when they're over I want to get back to putting more energies into The KING'S Corner board Game. Planning to do some overtime at work for funding the Game, and for going toward whatever Masonic needs arise.

Just a few jots here with nothing much to write, other than just trying to get back into Bloging. I've got some ideas I'd like to revisit. Like; revisiting those folks listed in my sidebar, and doing a Photshop piece on them, and noting some of their works.

MOVED FINALLY!

After having rented a 24' truck, for $125 over our budget, from U-Haul, and two unexpected trips - we've finally moved in all our things, stuff and junk! Exhausted doesn't begin to express the aching muscles we've all recently discoved; glad to have it over with as the dust and piling empty bozes begin to settle.

Lewisville seems a much better place than the crazy pace of Big D.

photoshop Magics

Just a little Pre-cyberQuest Game photo of some of our PLAYERS; I've been working on.

How's Your Car?

I came across an interesting site today, and checked out my car; happy as I am with it, I came away a little deflated upon reading the specs. ENTER your own information and see how you view your vehicle afterwards. Sometimes just getting from point A to point B isn't everything.

Moving...

Come June first we'll be moving to the community of Lewisville, just north of the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex. We will have our freedom again, as Alice's brother, Michael will be moving into his own place as well; same complex. Near the Lake and woods.

Falconmyst Creations

I've been trying to figure out how to create GIF files and finally got a downloadable program; it's kinda neat. The possiblities are endless of the ideas I have in mind.

Pre-EA

While searching for various sites for our Cyber Hunt I came across a Lodge; inquired of a man mowing the lawn of how to become a Mason. It was that easy - to get the conversation started, but now the real conversations and interviews begin. I just finished the petition and had a meal with another; a 32nd degree, whose already begun a background check on me a week before I even turned in my packet... hum - interesting. Don't think it's all the National Treasure conspiracy bit and all, but it is a Society with Secrets. From time to time I'll jot down a few ideas and feeling of the journey; leaving the "Secrets" for others to discover on their own - hey, that's what I'm having to do.

I have a really dear and close friend named "Tehuti". We've known one another forever it seems; sometimes with years of silence, yet we've always picked up where we've left off. At times of real need I've been there for him no matter what; and he for me. Neither Tehuti nor myself are Masons. Yet, it is because of such brotherhood found in the Freemasons that I wish to learn and grow more involved.

Joining The Secret. . .

I've wondered for quiet some time, and finally found myself stopping by an Ancient & Accepted Freemason's Lodge; my inquiry is leading me deeper into their Treasures.

"CYBER HUNT - 2007"

I am in the preplanning stages of preparing a Scavenger Hunt. It's mainly geared toward the 600 some odd co-works at my job; come August or September. Before that I'm going to do a very scaled down version for my family, and small circle of local friends; as a spin-off from our D&D gameing. If anyone out there has any experience with such things I would love to hear some ideas, and woes to be aware of, before I go off into the deep here.

RESMART

There is now help for individuals whose internet additions have caused them to have inappropriate behavior issues. Having worked in the Mental Health field myself, for eight years now; I have seen my share of strange behaviors, and can personally vouch for the doctor in this video.

WARNING: As with all prescribed medications follow the labled directions carefully.

Crying Awake

I woke up this morning crying... A dream...

I dreamt that I was flying. A most wonderful and thrilling feeling. I was nude, but the nakedness wasn't shameful but liberating, to the point of unawareness. There were others. Crowds of people watching me soar in amzement, as though I were a hero in action to be envied. There was an old house. A gutted old frame house being refrebished; an old black carpenter- hard at work. I landed beside him, as his ignore my flying ability; watching his woodworking craftsmanship with awe I asked him why others weren't excited, or weren't flying freely themselves. A little pigtailed girl came up to me, and said her father couldn't hear or seen her either because she had been dead for seven years already. - I came awake slowly crying, realizing that I had been dreaming and Alice rubbing my back comfortingly. I cried, not because I was "dead" but at the loss of "freedom" upon waking up.

To me the dream meant: We only find true freedom, not in dying but in truely living in the moments of bliss. Finding and embracing the bliss of each moment IS the meaning of life. The old man's craftmanship work was his legacy; deeds remembered.

Moving Soon

Yea, seems it's that time of year again. My brother-in-law, MikeyD; moved in with us awhile back and the time's come to part ways - now that he's all growed up. Our joint lease is up come first of June and we'll be moving soon. I usually start three months out with the jpacking and all, but for some reason haven't started yet. I really enjoy the "un"packing and re-arranging bit but just haven't gotten myself engaged to do it yet. This morning we're starting the hust for boxes, taping and putting away all the odds and ends. I feel some changes in the wind.

Start Your Own Cult - for FREE!!!

With all my previous life experiences; Yes! I think I have what it takes to start my own "Me-Cultic-Worship-Center" - Lopyziax!*. I sent off for the FREE instructional video. Why, you too can learn tips that made the Jehovah's Witnesses, Morons, and other Cool-Aid drinking Space Cadets so successful! Humm...Why not Start Today?

* word verification code sounds like a great name for my group

There are actually some excellent points made in the film about what to be aware of when seeking any type of faith based group. Any study group which does not allow for honest questions of its doctrinal teaching should raise a red flag of caution.

The winding down of a great life

You know, it's never easy growing up. I almost worshiped the ground my Dad walked, on when I was a kid. I was the good son, believe it or not; my older brother and step-sister were the wild ones, that I learned all the lessons of what not to do, from.

We didn't do a whole lot of Dad and son things together, but the things we did, were held as special. I remember my dad teaching me to paint. He was a landscape artist. Every brushstroke was watched as though I was going to be tested on it later; colors of the setting suns, blackened trees as dusk, and every windmill - a master piece in my eye.

I loved to watch him go fly fishing, gardening, or get into deep biblical questions at the dinner table. He worked all the time. So the momets we were together was a object lesson for me to absorb on how I wanted to be as an adult.

These last few week have been extremely difficult on me as I now learn new lessons on growing older and dealing with how to face death. The breathlessness of emphysema, and its slow robbery, and change to personality is heart wrenching to witness in a love one. I've tried to do a lot for my dad as a return of his love; we seem to fall so short in repaying, as time slips away ever so silently...

There will be time enough for tears later; now it time to just be strong.

Apophis

Looks like we might need Bruce Willis after all. On a Sunday in April, 2036 (I will be 73 years old); the Asteroid Apophis is to wipe out the earth. This time its to be played out in the heavens for real instead of the theathers.

The Truth of the Matter

Death by the WatchTower's Shadow is a grevious thing.

Some don't care for all my JW-ian talk; so once again, I've created yet another blog; just for that format. Escaping the mind control elements of the Jehovah's Witnesses is exactly what my story FORBIDDEN is all about. I continue to learn there are others still leaving and groping about for answers, away from the Tower's Shadow. For them was this site created.

Oh Man! A few weeks ago my wife and I got deathly ill; "running at both ends" - as they say. I stayed in bed sick for two straight days with a high temp; diearreah, and vomitting and all the wonderful aches that go along with it. A few days later my wife learned from the news that our beloved Peanut butter sandwiches a few days earlier was the cause for our self imposed extended bed rest. Come to find out my daughter purchased a jar as well. Then a week later; I found out that my father had been ill from the same cause. Now, I can't look at a jar of peanut butter the same way.

MY LIBRARY listings...

I've just begun another "blog" link; called: My LIBRARY. I've tried using the MS Works format, but just didn't care for the hasel of all the hoops. Then I tried using my Star Trek Holonote(Full Version), desktop program, but when and if ever I have to reboot I'll just lose everything. So, I've begun doing a more interactive Inventory of my personal belongings.

I've just started; check it out.

Tehuti Does it Right!

We've all endured our share of trials and errors along the journey of life; striving to discover, not only who we are but who to share it with. I was honored to be asked to witnesses when both of those events converged together on the Path of one of my dearest friends. Congradulations "MDC" you've finally gotten it right! Sweet isn't as sweet without knowing the bitter in life; I'm glad he's able to enjoy the fruits of his long sought after quest.