Beating Back the Shadows

I think we all have shadows of depression. Handling depression and the darknes that seems to suck all enjoyment out of life isn't easy - but it can be. I'm not talking the cronic illness type of no escape that lingers beyond the ability to function; seek professional help or medication and don't let any one try to scam you into the foolishness of beating yourself up when they obviously don't understand.

But the kind of shades that wash like waves over me at times, even on the most beautyful of days. I tried to commit suicide several years ago, in my youth, and the shades of that same emotional sucking whirl pool, like a black hole at time creeps back into my mind. Death, doom and gloom, a self pity, and self loathing that is "as black as a patch of midnight that had never been cleared away" remains an ever present foe. I deal with it daily. But most of the time I just laugh it off and go my merry way; respectfully aware that its power is deceptivly easy to be dismissed; yet eager to return.

I once shared with an individual 'how to do it' - and just at the point of their conversion to the notion, I revealed the power of over coming it. "Okay, now that the deed's done... what about the reaction of those left behind? "
The aftermath of our leaving never seems to enter the equation of our desire for the escape; largely, because, while we are in the mouth of the beast we are alone. We alone are all alone in the "night" of our personal making - yet in truth, every one of us at one time or another, to one degree or another have dealt with it. Unfortunately, what works for one is not a "one size fits all."

One of the best - and this comes from personal experience, mine and others - is to talk. Talk with the cloestest person to you, talk with a co-worker, talk in detail with the perfect stranger during those 6 min. at the bus stop, talk talk talk. Sure you can ride a horse, take a long car ride, or whatever, but in talking you find the greatest weakness of the monster of depression - that you are not alone.

If we all go to the bath room and sit on the pot, brush our teeth, eat, sleep, desire, hope, cry - then I guess it also stands to reason we all deal with degrees of depression. I am not alone. You are not alone. There once was a place before the depression overwhelmed you, the trick is in finding that place again. So, I guess the real question is NOT how do you manage depression, but - what is your Happy Place?